The woman refuses to admit--even to herself--that she has been beaten, Stephy’s House believes these should be included in the description as well - verbally assaulted, emotionally assaulted, mentally assaulted or that there is a "problem" in her marriage. She may call each incident an "accident". She offers excuses for her husband's violence and each time firmly believes it will never happen again.

She now acknowledges there is a problem, but considers herself responsible for it. She "deserves" to be battered, she feels, because she has defects in her character and is not living up to her husband's expectations.

The woman no longer assumes responsibility for her husband's abusive treatment, recognizing that no one "deserves" to be battered. She is still committed to her marriage, though, and stays with her husband, hoping they can work things out.


Accepting the fact that her husband will not, or can not, stop his violent/abusive behavior, the battered woman decides she will no longer submit to it and starts a new life.


You may be a Victim of Domestic Violence?

1. is your partner threatening or violent towards you or the children?

2. Do you find yourself making excuses or minimizing your partner's behavior?

3. Do you feel completely controlled by your partner?

4. Do you feel helpless, trapped, alone, and isolated?

5. Do you blame yourself for the violence?

6. Does your partner blame you and tell you that you are the cause of all his problems?

7. Do you blame the violence on stress, on drugs/alcohol, or a bad childhood?

8. Does your partner constantly accuse you of having affairs when he can't account for 100% of your time? Does he tell you jealousy is a sign of love?

9. Do you fear going home?

10. Are you limited in your freedom like a child? (Go to the store and come straight home. It should take you 15 minutes.)

11. Do you find yourself lying to hide your partner's real behavior (for example, saying you fell down the stairs when actually you were pushed)?

12. Are you embarrassed or humiliated by your partner in an effort to control your behavior, especially in public?

13. Does your partner abandon you, leave you places, or lock you out?

14. Does your partner hide your keys, mail, or other important papers?